[The warren floors of Hynde Manor. Margo is building a harbor portion of her train set in one of the basements. She installs a projector below the water portion of the set, represented by a panel of distorted glass, which have white-painted edges to resemble sea foam]
Margo: “Presenting for the first time in the New Eagland town of… New Lapinville.” [sets switch on her phone to ‘on’] “Water.” [watches the train set in motion, particularly for the water. The projection impresses her] “Hey, Buffett, look at this.”
Buffett: “Raaaa-AAAAAH-awk!” [flies over, and perches himself on Margo’s head]
Margo: “Look, Buffett. It looks like where you came from. Minus the fact this is supposed to look like New Eagland and… you’re from Firginia. Anyways, it’s the sea! With genuine fabricated water! It doesn’t have any boats on it yet, but once I build them, and laser-etch the holes to put them in, it’ll be perfect.”
Buffett: “Yaaaaah-awk!”
[Margo and Buffett watch as the trains move through the set]
Margo: “I haven’t really shown you my trains a lot, have I, Buffy?” [Buffett stares at her] “Well, let me give you a rundown. They’re gauge 1, same as they used on that old show Thomas and Friends. And as you can see, the livery on the engines tends to be a medium blue, with accents of two other colors to differentiate them.” [points out the three specific trains on the dock set] “The one with green and orange and the ‘6233’ on the side, is Marlie. She’s really fiery and easy to anger. The one with crimson and orange and the ‘6232’, is Patrick. He’s really chill. And the one with dark blue and orange and the ‘6231’, is Margaret. The most famous engine in New Eagland and the one everyone loves.” [winks] “You might know some ines in real life like these engines.”
Buffett: “Rah-haha!”
Margo: “Now on the shed set, I have –” [hears Harry shouting in disbelief from the main manor above]
Harry: “No no no no NOOOOO!”
Margo: “Uh oh, Dad doesn’t sound happy.” [turns off train set] “Sorry, Buffy, I’ll show you the rest another time.” [shoos Buffett off her head and crawls uptunnel. Buffett follows her up]
[In the main manor, Margo and Buffett find Harry, distressed as he holds a single blue sock]
Margo: “What’s going on, Dad? Why are… why are you carrying that sock around?”
Harry: “I can’t find the other one, Mar! I felt like wearing the solid blues like old times, but apparently at some point I lost lefty!”
Margo: “Oh, that’s right. You like collecting socks. Some fathers like collecting ties, you like collecting socks.”
Harry: [beat] “What father has ever liked collecting ties?”
Sally: [from another room] “My fathah likes collectin’ ties!”
Harry: [beat, as he scowls toward the kitchen] “What father that counts likes collecting ties?”
Margo: “You know, come to think of it, the idea of fathers liking ties does sound like something a marketing company made up to commercialize Father’s Day.”
Harry: “I know the solid blues aren’t the most colorful socks I’ve got, but they’re the one of the pairs I’ve got the deepest connection to. They remind me of how blue the sea is in Mallorca.”
Margo: “Mah… yohr… cuh?”
Harry: “It’s an island in Horspaña. Your mother and I went there for our honeymoon.”
Margo: “You know, you could always mix and match the socks. Just wear the blue one and wear something else as the left one.”
Harry: “Even if I wanted to do that, and I don’t, I’m not about to have separated another pair. Especially when this one’s twin’s already missing.” [looks at the sock] “But I guess if I can’t find the twin, which it looks at this point like I’m not gonna, I’ll have to cut this thing up and… oh, I don’t know. Make it a washcloth or something.” [Margo stares at the sock] “Or maybe your sister can make this into something fashionable.”
Margo: “Or I could take it off your hands.”
Harry: “And what use would you have for it?”
Margo: “I don’t know, something cool. Or at least more use than you’re willing to give it.”
[beat. Harry looks at the sock again, before handing it off to Margo]
Harry: “Alright then. Put it to good use. Whatever that’d be.”
[Margo walks off. She puts the sock on her right arm and starts flapping her hand inside it, while doing a Boarston-accented voice that exaggerates Margo’s raspiness]
???: “‘ey, thanks foah savin’ me from a ragged fate theuh.”
Margo: “Sure.”
???: “What could I evah do to repay yah?”
Margo: “Well, I do run a railway. The New Eagland Railway. It’s only a gauge 1 railway, but it spans sets representing as far south as Connewticut, and as far north as New Boarunswick. And a position just opened up for a conductor.”
???: “What ah the pahks?”
Margo: “Well, there’s flexible hours, getting to hang around in the world of the ines, and as a sign-on bonus, you’d get an actual face and arms.”
???: “A face?! I’ve always wanted a face! Can I have one like yoahs?”
Margo: “Yeah, well, that was the idea! And I can get my sister to make you a uniform. Welcome aboard, ma’am.” [rubs top of the sock’s ‘head’]
???: “I’d be gettin’ hayuh too, right?”
Margo: “Orange yarn hair.”
???: “Sounds good to me!”
[a few days later, at the Grunvale Public Library. Gilda is reading Ready Player One by Ernest Cline, Wendy is reading Wonder Boys by Michael Chabon, and April is reading The Giver by Lois Lowry; the latter has her phone set on the table, displaying a meme of Buster and Babs Bunny saying ‘No Relation’]
April: “My, t’is book’s a pure wehd ‘un. Ah kin seh why ‘s sae con’ervehsal.”
Wendy: “Yeah, well, it’s the controversial ones you want to read. Literature is one of the few mediums of art not regulated by our government, and it’s the ones that take advantage of that, which society needs to push. No matter what religious watchdog groups say.” [Charlotte Roth walks up, pushing a cart of books to put on the shelves] “Oh, hey, Charlotte. I didn’t know you work here.”
Charlotte: “Ya didn’t?” [beat] “Well, I don’t. I’m a volunteer. I’ll be danged, though, if I see ‘nother historical institution be brought down by the digital age.” [picks up book and sees silverfish crawling on it] “Silverfish?! No ya don’t! AGALAGALAGALAGALAG!” [quickly picks up the silverfish with her tongue, chews them up, and swallows them as she puts the book on the shelf] “Free meal.” [Gilda, Wendy, and April all stare at her] “Don’t worry, I’ll save any others I find fer you gals.”
Gilda: “That’s okay, Charlotte, we don’t eat bugs.”
April: “I wouldnae mind eatin’ anythin’ ye find –“
Gilda: [slaps her hand over April’s mouth] “We don’t eat bugs!”
Charlotte: [points off] “‘ey, ain’t that yer leporine friend o’er there?”
[Gilda, Wendy, and April look to where Charlotte is pointing. It’s Margo, sure enough, wearing a light blue suit, and the blue sock on her arm, now a proper hand-rod sock puppet given an appearance modeled after hers, and dressed in train conductor attire. Charlotte gets to putting the books on the shelves as Gilda, Wendy, and April watch Margo walk up]
Wendy: “Oh boy, it’s Margo’s flavor-of-the-week goofiness.”
Gilda: “Let’s… just… see where she goes with this.”
[Margo uses the puppet to greet her friends]
Conductor Hynden: “Heeeee-llo everybody, Conductah Hynden of the New Eagland Railway! Ms. Mahgo heuh told me ’bout all o’yuhs, and I thought ya’ll sounded cool.”
April: “An’ I t’ink ye soond realleh ‘noyin’.”
Gilda: “Give her a chance, April.” [to Conductor Hynden] “Hello, conductor Hynden, I’m Gilda Grime.”
Conductor Hynden: “You’ah Gilda, huh? Cool. I heauh you’ah a fahmgahl, tell me about that.”
Gilda: “Well, I… I live in a commune. The Redfeather commune. We practice a form of agriculture called ‘permaculture’, it’s farming in a way that preserves and even creates habitat for wildlife.”
Conductor Hynden: “And what kinda crops ya grow?”
Gilda: “Well, the commune is many ines. We all play a different role. But my family specifically, grows the strawberries and grapes and lemons.”
Conductor Hynden: “Strawberries, now why do they call ’em strawberries if you can’t use ’em to drink?”
Gilda: [laughs] “Well, if you put their juice in lemonade, it makes it taste really sweet. I’m a sow who prefers my lemonade sour, but it can taste awesome sweet too.”
Conductor Hynden: “Lemonade. Now, if lemon juice is called ‘lemonade’, and lime juice is called ‘limeade’, why don’t they call orange juice ‘orangeade’? Or grapefruit juice ‘grapefruitade’?
Gilda: “You know, Conductor Hynden, I don’t know. Maybe they don’t want people thinking Bob Geldof or Neil Young is holding a benefit concert for citrus fruit. Citrus Aid!”
Margo: [nervously] <A Live Aid joke? I wasn’t expecting that.>
Conductor Hynden: “Right.”
Gilda: “So, uh, what kind of journeys do you like to make the most?”
Conductor Hynden: “Ya know, funny ya say that. Mahgaret and I love makin’ the trips to the fahms in New Boarunswick.” [Gilda and Wendy look confused. April rolls her eyes] “I like goin’ through the forests and grasslands, and so does Mahgaret. But she also likes the fahms. Particularly the chickens and how they like to walk onto the tracks. She thinks chickens are funny creatchahs.”
Wendy: “Margaret? Who’s Margaret?”
Conductor Hynden: “The engine I drive, numbah 6231. She’s a real spunky one, I tell ya.”
Gilda: “Wait, so the engines talk? Like in Thomas?”
Margo: [sighs deeply] “I’ll take that question. Yes, my engines talk. I don’t know how they do, they… just… do.” [smiles nervously]
April: “‘keh, we all agree t’at this new t’ing o’Mahgo’s is jus’ stupid, right?”
Wendy: “Well, let’s… let’s not say that, April. She’s onto something here, it’s just… really clunky how she’s doing it. Particularly with the lore.”
Margo: “Clunky?” [takes Conductor Hynden off her arm and rolls down jacket sleeve] “Clunky like how?”
Gilda: “Well, Margo. You… shouldn’t have to stop the story to explain the lore of the world you’re trying to build here. You need a better way of establishing it. Show don’t tell and all that.”
Margo: “Yeah, you’re right, Gilda. But how do I do that? Other than taking model trains and sets I want to use with me.”
Gilda: “Well, why not do that?”
Wendy: “And when you decide not to focus so much on trains and engines and such, just have some backdrop behind you to set the scene, like a farm or… the office of the railway head character you’ve obviously cast yourself as.” [chuckles]
Gilda: “I love the kind of humor you want to go for, though. I’m a sucker for puns. Please find a place to work in the ‘Citrus Aid’ joke we came up with in your thing.”
Margo: [perks up] “Puns, huh?” [puts Conductor Hynden back on her arm] “Well, I’ve got — Conductor Hynden’s got one. Another. Would you like to share it, ma’am?”
Conductor Hynden: “Shuah, Ms. Margo!” [to Gilda, Wendy, and April] “So, uh, why do they call the things on the fronta engines ‘cowcatchahs’? I mean, I thought I was just transpoahtin’ the beef, not huntin’ it!”
[Gilda and Wendy nod. A small child who had been watching Margo laughs. Margo smiles when she sees she’s onto something]
April: “Ye’re onleh appealin’ tae a real niche audience, Mahgo.”
[Margo glances at April]
Margo: “Don’t listen to the mephitine here, junior. She’s just ignorant of how important railroad transport is to the economy.”
Conductor Hynden: “Yeah, and she’s stinky too! And I know stink, I’ve had eggs go rotten on my train!”
[Gilda, Wendy, and the child laugh]
April: “I meh stink, Mahgo, but I’m nae the one who poos Cocoa Puffs!”
Margo: [rolls her eyes] “She’s cuckoo.”
April: “Hmph! Silly rabbit!”
Well, since I realized that this blog isn’t as popular as I thought it was among my social media base, I’ve decided that I’m gonna be promoting my blog more aggressively on my socials. Especially considering I want to make a career out of my art, and I’m already paying $48 a year to maintain the blog’s domain name. Best I prove to the world that it’s a domain worth keeping.
Starting with this piece, my fifth in my series to fulfill my National (thing) Day resolution. For January, we had National Spaghetti Day. For February, National Ferris Wheel Day. For March, a twofer of World Piano Day and National Lemon Chiffon Cake Day. For April, National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day. And for this, my birthmonth of May, we have a particularly silly one. National Lost Sock Memorial Day! And for it, I came up with the artwork above, and the ficlet that goes with it.
I spent about five and a half hours on this one, and decided to bring back my attempt to make my assets look traditionally-drawn. The character assets by noising and denoising them to look like cels, and the scenery by bringing back the fresh pasta effect, which I’m still not against using as long as I’m the one creating the asset being filtered.
Hope you all enjoyed what I have this time around. And if you do, please share it. Artists and writers such as myself have a notoriously difficult time finding work, and every little piece of free publicity I get has the potential to go a long way. And until next time, probably my silver jubilee birthday, take care, stay safe, support an Asimovian amendment for AI, support the striking writers of the WGA, don’t hate-watch the Little Mermaid remake, and have a good one.
Twitter (Main): https://twitter.com/StormyAdlerPoG
Twitter (Art): https://twitter.com/TheOfficialOTOG
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YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCXj2N…
Discord: Contact me by my tag (Stormy Adler, P.o.G.#1752) for an invite to my server.
Grunvale/OTOG is owned by me. You’re free to draw fanart of it, as long as you credit me as the creator of the series.
This artwork was made at a resolution of 5076×2160 (aspect ratio 2.35:1).
The Gallery of Stormy Adler 