[Koko’s Bowling Alley and Frankfurteria parking lot, exterior. The Tetrad and Auggie walk up]
April: 🎵 I just dropped in, to see what condition my condition was in 🎵
Gilda, Margo, Wendy: 🎵 Yeah, yeah, oh yeah / What condition my condition was in 🎵 [the Tetrad and Auggie laugh]
Auggie: “Hey, thanks again for letting me come along, guys.”
April: “Ye ne’ah ask, Auggeh. We’ve ahwehs got room fer a plus ‘un. Ye jus’ ne’er speak up.”
Margo: “Yeah, and you chose a good time to come along, too. Paddy’s out with Scarlett, Molly’s working on another dress for…” [sighs] “…me.”
Wendy: “And Nicole couldn’t be here, because she and her friends had plans over at Ruby’s. Probably a book club, or something else modest.”
[Cutaway to the Eliopoulous household, Ruby’s room, interior. She and the Pentad are playing with a ouija board. Everyone’s hands are the planchette as it moves, and they say the letters it stops on]
Pentad, Ruby: “Z, O, Z, O.”
Murray: “Zozo. Now that’s a cool name! Hey, Zozo my dude, how ’bout showing yourself to us? Come on, don’t be shy.”
[Back outside Koko’s. The Tetrad talk about the fun they plan to have at the bowling alley]
Wendy: “Gilda, you said earlier this is your first time bowling?”
Gilda: “No, I’ve bowled before. In video games. But this is my first time at an actual bowling alley. I hope the carpet and the display above the pins looks as cool as I’ve seen in the movies and… in photos.”
Margo: “I’m gonna try to hit the big red button.”
Auggie: “Big red button? What big red button?”
Margo: “You know, the one at the end of the walls between the lanes. It causes an explosion that topples all the pins in the alley.”
April: “Mahgo, ye bampot, we’ve bin o’er t’is ahredeh! Th’ big red bu’on’s a myth!”
Margo: “Nuh-uh! It’s a thing! I’ve seen somebody hit it!”
Gilda: “I’ll clear this up. The big red button is indeed a thing. I’ve hit it many times myself. It’s tricky, but it feels good to pull off.”
Margo: “See? Gilda knows what I’m talking about.”
April: “Nae she daesn’t! She explic’ly sehd she’s onleh plehed boolin’ vidya gehmes, nae th’ real t’ing!”
Gilda: “Wii would like to play.” [bows]
[The Tetrad plus Auggie enter the building. Gilda is taken in by the sights]
Gilda: “Ooh! This place looks cool.” [sees the art above the lanes] “That looks like an add for orange juice! Except green. Maybe it’s Ecto-Cooler.” [beat] “Which is actually even better, because you know how much I like green.” [looks at the carpet] “And look at the carpet, now that! Quello è un tappeto! Squiggly lines and geometric shapes against an off-black background. Can you think of a better aesthetic for a carpet?” [crouches onto the floor and pats the carpet] “I hope that, when I own my own house one day, I can get a carpet just like this one.”
Margo: “Yeah, that’ll be great. Now come on, we need to rent out our balls and our shoes.” [she, Wendy, April, and Auggie go to the rental counter]
Gilda: “Our… our shoes?” [gets up to follow the others]
[At the rental counter]
April: “Yea sahr, I need a size fahrty-un Eweropean. ‘at’s tehn’n a half in yer Amar’can measurements.” [clerk hands April the shoes] “Thank ye.”
[clerk]: And what about you?”
Gilda: [beat] “You… you talking to me?”
[clerk]: “Yeah. What size shoes do you need?”
Gilda: “Oh, well. I wanted to tell you, I’m actually gonna be wearing my own shoes.” [backs up to show them off] “My green Chuck Taylors. Really tie the outfit together, don’t they?”
[the clerks silently stares at the shoes for a while. Wendy shakes her head, knowing an argument is about to take place]
[clerk]: “Those aren’t bowling shoes, miss. You need bowling shoes if you want to bowl.”
Gilda: [beat] “But these shoes, they’re… they’re part of this ensemble. I don’t wear any other pair of shoes than this, with this outfit. It throws the whole thing off. So if you could just, you know. Give me a ball?”
[clerk]: [rolls eyes] “Listen, miss. If you’re not gonna wear bowling shoes on the alley, then you can’t bowl. That’s the rules.”
Gilda: “Well, how about if I went barefoot? Or in socks? Would that be okay?”
[clerk]: “No, that’d be even worse.” [points to sign on the counter. Gilda reads it aloud]
Gilda: “‘No shirt, no shoes, no service.’ You know that rule came about to keep hippies away from businesses, right? And I would know, I live on a commune.”
[clerk]: “Oh, well that explains a lot.” [beat] “Now give me your order or git, you dirty hippie.”
[Gilda’s face turns red as she hisses with rage. She looks back at the others]
Wendy: “Just order the shoes.”
[Gilda silently stares at Wendy]
[cut to a few minutes later, on the alley proper. Gilda is putting on her bowling shoes. They’re blue on one half and red on the other]
Gilda: “You couldn’t even get me any green ones?”
Wendy: “Gilda, it’s just for an hour, maybe two. You can go back to your green shoes after that. Besides, aren’t the sleeves of your shirt green?”
Gilda: “Yeah, you’re right, Dub Dub. Come to think of it, it is pretty hot in here.” [takes off jacket] “There we go. Now my green’s showing!” [puts the first shoe on. As she ties it, she notices something off] “Hm? It’s… it’s tight.”
Wendy: “These aren’t shoes meant to be broken into, Gil. Of course they’re gonna be tight.”
Gilda: “No, these are actually tight. Like I feel like my foot is getting strangled.”
April: [gesturing] “Adj’st th’ toong.”
Gilda: [does as told, then flicks her foot back and forth] “Nope! It’s still too tight.”
Margo: “You wear mary janes or high heels almost every day you’re not wearing the sneakers, how is it bowling shoes that you have a problem with?
Gilda: “My mary janes and high heels have padding on the insides! And enough space for my feet to breathe! This is completely different, my feet can’t even breathe in these things! I feel like they’re being swallowed!”
Wendy: “Well, Gilda, it’s either you wear the shoes, or you can’t bowl with us.”
Gilda: [looks up at Wendy] “You won’t hate me if I decide not to bowl, will you?”
Wendy: “Of course not, Gil. You know I have two sisters with your condition. Complete with the sensory issues. Tags for Nicole and coarse fabrics for Dolly. If you can’t handle wearing the shoes because they’re too uncomfortable for you, I understand.”
[Gilda is silent as she hangs her head down, thinking. After a while, she takes off the bowling shoe, and picks the other one and her jacket up as she leaves]
Gilda: “Sorry guys. I guess bowling’s not an all four of us activity. Not outside of video games, anyway. Scusami, Margo, for being a waste of money.”
Margo: “Skoo… sah…”
Wendy: “Sorry. She’s saying sorry.”
Margo: “Oh! Oh, don’t sweat it, Margo. You know my family are millionaires anyway, this is basically nothing.”
Gilda: “Have fun, Auggie. I know you’ve been waiting to do something with us for a while. Well, including me. Sorry this couldn’t be it!”
Auggie: “It’s fine, Gilda, don’t worry about it. I’m not gonna invalidate your sensory issues.”
Gilda: “Hope you all bowl well! Can’t count on 300s, but here’s to 200-something! Hopefully the higher end!” [pause] 🎵 I just dropped in, to see what condition — 🎵
Margo, Wendy, April, Auggie: “Go to the arcade already!“
Gilda: “There’s an arcade here?” [turns around and sees arcade machines in a nearby room. One particular machine catches her attention] “Centipede! EEEEE!” [stims by rubbing her fingers together]
[about an hour later, after having gotten the high score]
Gilda: “One hundred eighty-five thousand, eighty-four.” [stretches] “A great score, if I say so myself.” [stomach growls] “Hm. I’m hungry now. I’m gonna go see what they have at the diner.”
[Gilda leaves the arcade and goes to the diner section. As she arrives, she sees Margo’s yellow-associated cousin, Ellen Ketcham, sitting in a far corner, sipping a lemonade. Although she’s mistaken about who she is at first]
Gilda: “Oh hi, Molly! Fancy seeing you here. Love the dress and the flower, they look cute on you.”
Ellen: [visibly confused] “Molly?”
Gilda: “That’s…” [notices Ellen’s black nose, which she wiggles as Gilda stares at it] “Oh. Scusami, I… I confused you with someone else.”
Ellen: “Not far off, though. I have a cousin named Molly.”
Gilda: [beat] “Do you… do you also have a cousin named Margo? Margo Hynde?”
Ellen: [perks up with surprise] “I do!” [smiles] “Are you the Gilda she’s told me about?”
Gilda: “Yes, ciao! I’m Gilda Grime.” [raises left hand for Ellen to shake]
Ellen: “And I’m Ellen Ketcham. It’s nice to meet you!” [shakes Gilda’s hand] “You seem like someone who prefers to sit by the wall. Would you like to?”
Gilda: “Uh, sure.” [prepares to take seat in front of Ellen’s]
Ellen: “No, no, no! Next to me.”
[Ellen scoots to her left to make room for Gilda. The procyonine pauses as she looks at the empty space, then hops over the table to take her seat next to Ellen]
Ellen: “Oh, and if you don’t mind me saying. Your earrings are so cute!”
Gilda: [blushes and laughs as she flicks them] “Thanks. My color may be green, but pink compliments it well. And also I like how chunky these hoops are. I like dressing retro, if it wasn’t obvious. I love the aesthetic of the whole second half of the 20th century, but there’s just something special about the 1980s to me.”
Ellen: “Oh, it was totally obvious.” [winks] “I know my fashion history well. Almost as well as I know the culinary arts.”
Gilda: “Oh, you’re into cooking!”
Ellen: “Yep. Cooking and fashion are my special interests.”
Gilda: [looking curious] “Uh, I know I, uh, shouldn’t be asking this to somebody I just met, but, uh…” [beat] “Are you, by any chance… uh… like a cupcake? A cupcake among muffins?” [smiles cheesily and nervously]
Ellen: “You’re… asking if I’m autistic, aren’t you?”
Gilda: “No!” [eyes dart around and her cheeks flush. Ellen smirks] “Yes.”
Ellen: [laughs] “Cute metaphor, Gilda!” [puts her arm around Gilda and whispers into her ear] “And yes I am, thanks for asking.”
Gilda: [perks up] “EEEEE!” [rubs fingers together]
Ellen: “You wanna know another way to describe autism?”
Gilda: “Sure.”
Ellen: “It’s like julienne fries. They may be thin and thus flimsier than their so-called ‘normal’ counterparts, like how autistic ines are socially awkward. Flimsy, if you will. But like the autistic are better than the not-autistic at taking in information, julienne fries can take in proportionally more ketchup.”
Gilda: “Julienne fries?”
Ellen: “Yeah, I ordered a whole plate of ’em.” [sees waiter walk up with a plate of said fries] “Here they are. Waiter, you mind if I share these with this delightful new friend of mine?”
[Gilda smiles bashfully]
[many minutes later, Gilda and Ellen have eaten most of the fries. Gilda has visibly enjoyed eating them]
Ellen: “Taste good, don’t they?”
Gilda: “Eeeeeyup.” [burps, then covers mouth. Ellen chuckles]
Ellen: “Better out than in, I always say.”
Gilda: “Alright, Shrek. Now tell me ’bout your autistic experience, and I’ll tell you mine. Only the positive stuff, though. I don’t want to start this friendship with tragic backstory dumping. We’re not Batboar, especially not dark and depressing Nolan Batboar.”
Ellen: “Well, I’m one of five quintuplets, I’m the second born. The one before me is Zack, and the ones after me are Drake, Victoria and Filmore. Drake’s the only one of us that –“
[Ellen is cut off by the sound and tremor of an explosion, which causes both her and Gilda to jump]
Gilda: “Mamma mia!”
Ellen: “Holy crap!”
[Ellen jumps into Gilda’s arms as the tremor shakes Koko’s. When the tremor subsides, they hear the sets of bowling pins collapse one by one outside. They look out the window over their table to see that all the pins have fallen… and also Margo’s bowling ball is resting on the wall between the lane she’s playing on and the one to the right of the lane]
Gilda: “…huh.”
Entry number eight in my series fulfilling my New Year’s resolution. This month, we have another twofer, with an artwork and ficlet inspired by both National Bowling Day and National Julienne Fries Day! Although the artwork more addresses the latter.
Since writing Tyrannia Hawk, I knew I wanted at least one of the Ketcham quints to be autistic. Zack I wrote even then to be so, but as of this ficlet… well, you’ve read it. Probably. Or you skipped over it because you wanted to see what I have to say about it. Anyways, at least on the ficlet side of things, it’s about time that Gilda has a friend outside of the Tetrad, and an autistic one to boot. And funny enough, her friend is a relative of one of her Tetrad friends. Ellen Ketcham, Margo’s girly-girl cousin who likes fashion and cooking. The latter of which is an interest she shares with Gilda. I imagine these two teaming up as a duo called… ‘Grimey Kitchen’. You know, because it sounds like their last names. XD
On the artwork, I experimented with a sketchy watercolor look, which I think works well here. Probably because of the inked-in details over it. I think watercolors fit Grunvale/OTOG well, especially with it being set in cities and towns built into and around nature. I associate watercolor with landscape paintings. I’m gonna try to practice this look with my series more outside the graphic novel; it’ll look good in a pitch bible for a potential animated series.
As for the ficlet, Gilda’s score on Centipede, 185,084, is not some random number I picked out for the lulz. It’s the score I got on my run of the Game Boy Color port, where I achieved RetroAchievements mastery. Write what you know, as they say. On a side note, GBC Centipede marks my sixth RA mastery, after Donkey Kong Country, Genesis Bonanza Bros., Spyro the Dragon, Pieces, and Crash Bandicoot: Warped.
And that’ll be all this time. If you liked this artwork and the ficlet, then drop me a follow on this blog, and on my socials, linked below. And until next time, take care, stay safe, support the Hollywood strikes and an Asimovian amendment for AI, remember to call the site ‘Twitter’ and not ‘X’ (and not even ‘the site formerly known as Twitter’, it’s not Prince), and have a good one.
Twitter (Main): https://twitter.com/StormyAdlerPoG
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Discord: Contact me by my tag (phoenixofgrunvale) to add me as a friend.
Grunvale/OTOG is owned by me. You’re free to draw fanart or write fanfics of it, as long as you credit me as the creator of the series.
“Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In” was written by Mickey Newbury for The First Edition’s album of the same name, owned by Warner Music Group through Reprise Records.
This artwork was made at a resolution of 5076×2160 (aspect ratio 2.35:1).
The Gallery of Stormy Adler 